Speed Poetry

Tim Clare is preparing to write 100 poems in one day.

Speed poetry tends to be a group exercise. Everyone decides on a title, usually picked at random from a nearby book. Then each person has 10 minutes to write the poem, after which you share your work with the rest of the group.

The end result is a series of poems all tackling the same subject from a different angle, producing a kind-of shit kaleidoscope. As you can imagine, everyone’s work comes off a bit half-cocked, but this is what makes speed poetry such a great learning experience. The poet doesnt get enough time to hide the skeleton, and because the construction of the poem is still on display, it helps the participants get a better handle on how other writers write.

Tim is going solo on this, although he will be putting the poem titles on Twitter as he starts writing. That means anyone can join in and tag along for a while (or even ride alongside for the whole demented journey. Play Peter Fonda to his Dennis Hopper). If that sounds like too much, you can still contribute by suggesting hilarious obscure poem titles that Tim will be forced to work through. He still needs another 50, at least. So far, the list looks a lot like the AV Club’s annual Worst Band Name report.

The other day I met up with Tim to do some warm-ups for this Herculean task. Here’s a few of my attempts. You can also read Tim’s parallel poems on his blog.

A Short Time Ago, A Tramp Came To Our Door

Look, don’t react. I have no intention
of using this machete. I’m in the neighbourhood

selling these fine leather websites. Is your husband in?
Would you enjoy a demonstration? The website goes over

the head, like this. It covers the eyes, like so.
You can sew an emoticon onto the front

To let people know how you are feeling. Congratulations!
You’re in business. Sit back and let the cash roll in.

I prefer not to think of it as a machete.
I like to think of it more as a drop down menu.

Once the trial period expires, come see me in my office.
My office is the bush behind your house. The hours are flexible.

One Might Expect These Scenes To Be Tedious

That’s why I’ve moved the church to a cartoon lake
Rigged some squibs for the vicars chest
Autotuned the bells to The Lion Sleeps Tonight
Tasered the choir. A sniper on the school roof instead of confetti.

A misaligned springboard instead of Aunt Jackie.
Our kiss set to zero gravity,
Then we will run from our wedding in a halo of brick dust
Wedding guests ripping off their faces
To reveal twists and counter-twists
Trapdoors into our vows to secret locations

And I will be played by someone else
You don’t need me to tell you who
I don’t want you to be bored, not ever again
Thats my way of saying, I love you.